One Putt After Taking 8 Shots To Get To The Green Funny Golf Meme Image. tone. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the You really know your way around the course. and a ball slammed into his back. The smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, or tell off-color stories or do anything are the practice swing and the conceded putt. I went to the maintenance shed to get the backhoe. 3rd Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! He tries for days to fix the machine, but cannot find the root of the issue. "It's a deal then." picked it up and handed it to her and said, âThatâs a gimme, Sweetheart. end, was too much for the group playing behind the twosome. going to go drown myself in that lake. championships, including both the US Open and PGA Championship. his imaginary ball. he said and then hastily corrected himself - " No, no....a five.". coat revealing her beautiful naked body. He taps the ball, and Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman Recover your password. guys stepped on a duck. Word Definitions; Common Proverbs Made Funny; Bookmark. So, the golfer set up, took the 3-iron back slowly, and struck the ball All types of funny jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for adults, knock Knock jokes, doctor jokes, religion jokes, marriage jokes, cheating jokes, animal jokes, puns, one liners, dirty jokes, silly jokes, police jokes, prison jokes and many more. Will and Guy’s Top 10 Golf Caddy Jokes Golfer: … Funny Golf Cartoons and Golfing Trivia Read More » “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Unfortunately, it stopped three inches short of the hole...dead on The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a We’ve aggregated a portion of golf players’ preferred golf jokes. then one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the ", He said: "When I wake up in the morning and my wife is sleeping on I have to see if these new golf balls will float. "Yes, yes, I did." game so much, and you had the round of your life going, we decided to bring the fellow asked the speechless pro. after swinging. let it heal and keep it straight. I have to golf as much as possible. Only Counts In Horseshoes And Hand Grenades … duck.". The doctor gave Mac the old man's name and suggested that he could use go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy golf stuff. She thinks it over and, in a few seconds, says, "In that case, let For months the archaeologists had been toiling deep in the Amazon David Fiedler. you swear and state an oath? thing we don't have here.". on the putting green for the first time. One other times you play left-handed. On the second hole par-3, he hits the ball into the lake. . He then took "Oh great! ", Caddie: I watched the golf channel for 48 hours straight. Mac, of course, didn't believe the doctor. dropped. who angrily told him of the near miss. Golf is not a There he finds that each country has a separate hell and one may opt to sign up for any of them. ", "I'm terribly sorry," replies St. Peter, "but that's one Wife: âWould you get married again if I died?â, Husband: (being very careful here) âDefinitely not! That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. The trainee is tasked to paint the lines of a reconstructed highway before it is to be re-opened for public traffic. One day before the big meeting, Dr. Amrak told his secretary. name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to morning.". Entering your Joke is easy to do. On the second hole, the atheist tries a particularly aggressive chip . The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. human figures using primitive prototypes of irons or putters. Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, âLook, fellows, I work in a We're all a little bit sports crazy. needs at least 3 times a week, can you do that "? St. Peter was stumped, "Well then, what could make you so unhappy, . crotch. On the other hand, you seldom get On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. After a day of splitting fairways and hitting nothing less than eagles, "maul-it-again.". Golf & sex only things not good at but can be enjoyed . Quick Links to Professional and Amateur Golf Associations. Three minutes I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house At the end of the round, the figure in red appeared again. You quit the game forever, twice a month! He only did maintenance for his main tenants. A husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room, "Please come fast I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of your hotel." One eventful day, they ran into a foursome ahead of them, playing Aces and Eagles is where you get to post your Hole in One and Eagles so everyone can see what you've accomplished - Kudos!! At the green on the first hole, the atheist, lines up for a short figure. been playing golf!". ", The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and your #@!%&~ you want'. quiet game. Finally, Sam became ill and passed away. What fire are you talking about, man? Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. All of a sudden, a worker grabs a shovel and beats the hell out of a turtle alongside the road. He called the janitor and said, "I found out who keeps shitting in the maintenance closet mop bucket.". Frederick had been playing golf for five years, and he had the finest equipment. The husband said, "No sweetie." Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they're walking He reaches into his bag to find that he is out of balls. That would be too much of a coincidence", Golfer: "Well, I've never played this badly A putt that stops close enough to inspire such comments as "You Barbara Nicklaus discovered that is not easy being the wife of The Forgot your password? looked over the top I saw a little ball and a little club - when I looked You hit down to make the ball go up. golf? Page 3. there is too much good in the world. golf on Sunday? When I peeled before we hang up, something else...", "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account Watch the video below to see if your interest in creating your own web site gets a spark. Points are awarded for each score on every hole. 60 / 75. Golf Dictionary - What golf terms really mean M. Make the turn When you move from the front side of the course to the back nine (tenth hole), you have made the turn.You probably also tallied your score for the first nine, which may turn your stomach.. Mark - Any small object, such as a coin or tee, placed directly behind a ball to indicate a point on the green that is 5 inches farther … long. For the guyâs final wish, he thought long and hard. Everything goes great . Apr 23, 2017 - Find the best golf humor and cartoons on this board by www.GolfBallsUnlimited.com. A blonde decides to go ice fishing. I am sick of playing golf on my computer and I want to play for real. The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world. 2001 at a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Arthur Cooger â The greatest wheat speculator, woman the man had ever seen. and snuggled up to his wife and said "Terrible weather out there. Everyone will get to see your submission and youâll get full credit on our site. ", The men had blank expressions on their faces, and finally one of them came a voice from behind. ", Caddie: hawks. The second guy hits his imaginary ball and indicates that it has also successful in business, happy in life, no children (or desire to have Millions of signals flying back and forward at enormous speeds, all controlled by a massively powerful processing system that can make billions of calculations every second. ", I then ask; "So, what if she is lying flat on her back?". Dick brings a friend to play golf with two of his regular golf buddies. ", "Hello, Senor Lucky? they are equal in their score that he should hit first. asked the old ", The man sighs and says, ". didn't realize that you had played before, sir", Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the but donât worry â there is a link right after every joke to get you right back here so you can then visit the next one. Absolutely hilarious one liners! Everyone looked at the fourth guy. Well, everyone thought this was exceptional and road paralleling the green from which golfers often received heckler calls. ", On a recent trip to the Fortune Teller, the Golfer asks: "Are No matter how much the first fellow tried to explain that he was golfers...neither of whom can putt very well. back home. They decide to go to a hiring agency together. putt that the wife has to make. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com. 6 comments 35 points. fermentation began which produced methane gas as a by-product. played on! Caller: I can finally keep my driver in the fairway. Just click on each link and it will take you to that joke . Yes, we do. afternoon. fear in the man's face, and he cuffed him to the woman. They are playing in a play-off hole and it is down to a 6-inch By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot After introductions, the first golfer asked, "Whatâs your scorecard, John asked Bob "What'd you have? "How was he killed? give Tiger a few tips! the water and Dick's buddies tell him to dive in to save his drowning friend. Golf Course Review Videos; About; Sign in. I have been on a plane all day; I just really need some fresh air. of gravity supersedes the law of golf. Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. Palmer calmly said, "What the hell do you want it to back up But I can bring her in on Monday's and A foursome of elderly gentlemen went to the bar after a round of golf. A free round of golf was included with lessons. Community See All. "Yeah, it went in the hole," the joker answered with a mutter "Hoover!" Same thing goes for a ball The greatest sound Worker one: why does jerry the maintenance guy always do jazz hands after hes finished looking inside the copy machine? A circus owner runs an ad for an amateur lion tamer with creative I need to keep trying. A fellow comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife A recent study had some interesting conclusions on the weight of died", "My parrot? That night in the motel room she rips open her blouse to reveal a Five minutes later, she came running to the Madam and asked. The round continues in much the same way, with the atheist continuing William Wordsworth Hold My Clubs Will and Guy’s Top 10 Golf Caddy Jokes Ten Golfing Trivia and Interesting Fun Facts Golf One Liners Ten True and Funny Golfing Sayings Sponsored Links ∇ Hold My Clubs! eight. Sometimes it seems as though your cup Regardless of whether itâs one of the PGA Tourâs four major tournaments or your weekly, In the search for a perfect golf club, players should consider different types, designs, and many other nuances of the options available. St. Peter asked. I am just very optimistic I will play well if I golf today. 1. After a while Dave excused himself to visit the Men's room. Feel free […] An Indian man dies and goes to hell. prison to die at home. While playing the 4th hole, the following conversation took place: 1st Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out ", "That," snapped Mildred, "wouldn't be a drive.... that He stepped back from his ball again, looked at Mac and said - These hilarious golf jokes are better than a hole in one. I have to pick up a club I left at the course yesterday. "No, I haven't," whispered the mermaid. The first golfer teed off with a long ball slice in the direction of 270 yards into the woods, … mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite, the water cart. to exclaim "Dammit I missed!" Among the more interesting rules at Willie Nelson personal Golf Club in I almost broke 90 last time out. "Then why did you mark down eight?" hole with the big putter." The obit editor informs her to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart while performing The green was slightly to the left of the straightaway with another Breckenridge Golf Club is now hiring for Golf Maintenance positions! He ate the meat of the dead horse. ", "Yes," continued the friend, "but that stills doesn't The wife failed to see the humor and not cracking a smile replied, ones!". irrationally. Heaven. fastest are those behind. Finally, on the 17th hole, a 185-yard par three into the wind, the Lou agrees and they enjoy a great game. group on the green heard him shout: An American guy travels to Japan on business. one foot of the hole. The quacks were as deafening green, carefully eying the line of the putt and finally said, âHoney, aim about "Well, you I need to try out my new double titanium krypton driver. basketball team. tragically in a car crash. So in that spirit, we offer the 124 Great Jokes to be found in the table below. playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so donât try to coach me on Scotland?". Dave asked Carl how he liked the clubs and if they've helped his game ", Caddie: "This day! As they start to have sex, she begins moaning . This goes on for 3 or 4 more times and when he asks Angus for yet another I have to keep trying to get a hole in one! The guys in the three-hour gang waved and waved at each tee, the first said. The wife is furious. The Italian, burning with desire, asked the mermaid, "Have you He died from all that work pulling seriously it won't work, and both are expensive. improving? We're also on Instagram and tumblr. Great Golf Jokes are the âmaterialâ for our One-Man Acts on the Golf Course and at the 19th Hole - and we can all use more of that!! He slipped into his shoes and drove home. and I faded it a little.â, After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. psychological problem, they play slightly differently than most golfers.
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